2009-7-27 07:31
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雋永的婚姻箴言
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT color=darkorange size=5> 雋永的婚姻箴言〔附中譯〕</FONT></STRONG></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>不管怎麽說還是結婚吧,娶到好老婆,你會幸福;娶到壞女人,你將會成爲哲學家。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing. (Duane Dewel)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>任何已婚男人都應該忘記自己犯下的錯誤──沒必要兩個人都記得同一件事情吧。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>A bachelor has to have inspiration for making love to a woman, a married man needs only an excuse. (Helen Rowland)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>光棍漢必須得絞盡腦汁才能和女人做愛,已婚男只需想出一個藉口。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>What do I know about sex? I'm a married man. (Tom Clancy)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>我怎麽知道做愛是咋回事兒?我是已婚男子。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. (Helen Rowland)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>撒謊是男孩的錯失,情人的藝術,光棍的成就,已婚男人的第二天性。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. (Henry Louis Mencken)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>結婚的男人是不會真正幸福的,如果他結婚後喝的威士忌不得不比單身時常喝的威士忌差的話。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. (Oscar Wilde)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>男人結婚,因爲他們已經疲倦了;女人結婚,因爲她們感到好奇了,結果兩人都大失所望。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. (Albert Einstein)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>女人嫁給男人,希望他們會所有改變。男人娶個女人,希望她們會永遠不變。所以雙方必然會失望的。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Nowadays, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men. (Oscar Wilde)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>如今,所有的已婚男人過得像一個單身漢,而所有的單身漢過得像已婚男人。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>A man who marries a woman to educate her falls victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him. (Elbert Hubbard)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>一個娶了女人想教育她的男人,和一個嫁給男人想改造他的女人都淪爲同一個謬誤的犧牲品。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. (Sam Kinison)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>我可不擔心什麽恐怖主義,我都結婚兩年了。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. (Hemant Joshi)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>結婚之後,老公和老婆就成爲一枚硬幣的兩面;他們就是沒法面對自己的另一半,卻仍然待在一起。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. (Joanne Woodward)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>性感不久就會逐漸消失,美色也會隨之枯謝,但嫁給一個能讓你每天開懷大笑的男人,啊,這才真正是令人滿意的結果。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. (James Holt McGavran)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>有一種比電子銀行還要快的轉帳方式。它叫做婚姻。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.(Patrick Murray)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>我在兩個老婆身上的運氣都很差。前面的那個扔下了我。現在的這個我扔不掉。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.(Milton Berle)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>一個好妻子總會在她錯了的時候原諒她的丈夫。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.(Socrates)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>婚姻是這樣一所學校:男人會失去學士學位∕(單身漢的地位),而女人會獲得碩士學位∕(征服者的地位)。[譯者注:雙關語]</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. (Henry Youngman)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>晚上你回到家裏,有一個女人會給你一眼愛情,一手溫情,一懷柔情。你知道這意味著什麽嗎?這意味著你走錯房子了,就是這個意思。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. (Nash)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>保持婚姻幸福的兩大秘密是: 1. 一旦錯了,立刻承認;2. 一旦對了,立刻閉嘴。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Marriage is Love, Love is blind, therefore, Marriage is an institution for the Blind (Anonymous)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>婚姻是因爲愛情,愛情是盲目的。所以,婚姻是爲瞎子所設的會所。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=#4455a6><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>First Guy(proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." (Anonymous</FONT>)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>一個男人驕傲地說:「我老婆是天使」。另一個男人羨慕地說:「你真走運,我的那個還活著。」</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. (Henry Youngman)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>有人問我和我老婆婚姻長久的秘訣:我們倆口子很會享受生活,每周兩次去餐廳吃飯。燭光、晚餐、輕音樂、跳舞。她周二去一次,我周五去一次。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>我和我老婆幸福地生活了 20 年。然後....我們就相遇了。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Marriage isn't a word....it's a sentence. (King Vidor)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>婚姻不是一個詞語....它是一個判決∕(句子)。[譯者注:雙關語]</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. (Jacques Maritain)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>我們愛的不是優點,我們愛的是人,有時是因爲他們的缺陷,附帶著他們的優點。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. (Rita Rudner)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>我認爲穿過耳洞的男人對結婚準備得更爲充分。他們已經經歷了痛苦,而且購買了珠寶。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties. (Arthur Schopenhauer)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>結婚就是將你的權利減半,將你的職責加倍。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing. (Goethe)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>愛情是理想的事情,婚姻是現實的事情。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. (Don Fraser)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>一個幸福的家庭是這樣的:雙方都認爲對方有可能是對的,盡管雙方都不相信對方是對的。</FONT></P>
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<P><FONT color=darkolivegreen size=3>A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person. (Mignon McLaughlin)</FONT></P>
<P><FONT color=#4455a6>一個成功的婚姻需要戀愛很多次,而且始終是與同一個人戀愛。</FONT></P>
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